also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
