He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
