i can't believe i had my finger in that
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize