he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
