It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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