HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
