Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
