My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
