I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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