Ambien. No doubt about it.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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