I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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