"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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