Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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