That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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