Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
