i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
