doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's rum buckets o'clock
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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