i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
