Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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