Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
