She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
