i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
