They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
