Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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