woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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