fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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