so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
