Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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