singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize