I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
