i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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