It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
