how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The best revenge is premature balding
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize