Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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