if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
