I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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