he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
