WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
