i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
