I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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