i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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