You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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