Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
