This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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