just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
