I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
