Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So vagazzling was a success
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
