Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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