there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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