I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
