If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm always down for nudity.
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