we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
