All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
