have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
