Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
