theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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