even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
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So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
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If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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