Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
