Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
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i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
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Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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