I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
