why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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