I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
